We've all been there. Laying in bed and wondering "Am I happy?" and "Am I doing what I love?". We spend so much time building our brand and working all the time that we never get to sit back and look at our progress. It feels like we've done so little and not enough. 99.9% of the time this isn't true but we trick ourselves into thinking we aren't where we need to be. This is something I've been going through lately and I know a lot of people feel the same.
For the past 5 days I've either been on a flight/video shoot/editing/not sleeping. I've loved every second of it but my creativity (I feel) has taken a toll. Thankfully since I've signed with my manager/agent Jeremy Cohen he's been keeping me busy 24/7. A year ago I was struggling to have 1-2 video shoots a month. Now I have 1-2 every week. This is blessing and I'm not saying this is bad, but creating this much with a 2-4 day turnaround on each project can make someone go crazy. I feel like a lot of creatives go through this. They are used to spending 2-3 weeks on an idea and executing it. Now we have 2-3 days to come up with a treatment with a limited budget and make it different from everything else. F**K That! Everything in life is about balance, and that's what most of us need to learn.
As much as I would like to say I keep balance in my life, it's not true. I love my job and what I do. So I devote 10-12 hours a day on it. (Sometimes more if it's a big production). In the moment I love it, but after it's done I feel empty. Almost like a high that went away, I start to want it more and more because work is what fuels me. This is the wrong way to go about it and not the healthiest way either. I've been learning to put things first instead of work. Right now my number 1 focus is family. I make sure I call and text my mom every day, ever since I've been doing this I've felt more in tune with life, instead of the zombie video director I was becoming. Money is great and working with some of the top music artists is a dream but think about what matters most. If you take away my camera and my bank account I have family. If you take away my family, I have money and a camera. Looking at it like that, you realize quick what matters most. Working is great but you need to have that family element integrated with what you do. Without them, you are just a lonely creator with no backbone.
NO ONE CARES HOW MUCH YOU MAKE
This is kind of off topic but I've been meaning to talk about this for a while. When we first get into our love for art and creating we think about just that, art and creating. Once we get good at it we start getting those $2,000-$5,000 checks and thats when things start turning upside down. It goes back to the balance between family and work, It's money and your body of work. All of this is transparent. Our work starts slipping because we get caught up in a materialistic mindset, we start caring about our "image" and not our work. Some would argue that these are both important and they are - but some choose to put 99.9% of it into playing the "part". They start showing off what they have and not what they make. This isn't how it's suppose to be, we are artists not reality tv stars. Showing off work isn't cool anymore, it's about showing off that new BMW you just bought, or that new louie bag you copped on rodeo. The catch to all of this is that no one cares what you have. Sure - you are getting hella likes on social media because people like the image, not you. Strip all of that away and all you have is no money and mediocre work. Flip the script and if you focus on putting out the best work every time and not what your image is there is nothing you can lose because you back it up every time with what matters most, YOUR ART
WHY ALL OF THIS MATTERS
Everyone who creates will go through these phases and thats normal, no one is going to love their work every time. I've been feeling this lately, I'm very happy with most of the work I've been putting out and some I know I could've done better. All of the excuses I could give you go back to overworking and balance. I (along with every other artist) feel like we haven't done much and even looking back I don't feel like I've done a lot. I dropped out of college a year ago with a GH4 and a few clients. Now - I live in LA and own a RED epic. I still feel like nothing has changed and that's just me being hard on myself. Sometimes I feel like the pressure I put on myself and my team is the reason for the unhappiness and loss of creativity, sometimes I think my work is s**t and I should quit lol. But - I'm just gonna keep progressing and adding balance to my life. I've seen a lot of artists lose themselves because of this and I'm not going. Just remember - You are only as great as your body of work. So focus on that and not the new shoe release. You're an artist so act like one.
WHAT'S NEXT FOR VISUAL SZN?
Been getting texts all day from Jeremy and the contacts he's making for VSZN right now. We've been working on a lot of new things for the brand and I'm happy to finally show everyone what we've been doing in the next few months. Thank you again for supporting these blogs, the support for them has been crazy. I'd like to only write blogs from now on about topics you want to hear me write about. I feel like the fanbase needs to have a voice and not just the creator. Please send your blog requests and I'd love to do more write-ups. Thanks again for supporting and stay tuned to what's coming soon from us.